This is a social media-related post driven somewhat by a frustrating experience this weekend as a coach in a 2nd grade baseball tournament game.
Allow me to go through some background to allow you to feel my pain. Then, I’ll get to the social media point. I promise.
When a kid on the team I help coach rounded 3rd base yesterday and ran safely to home, the ball coming back in from the outfield had just touched the infield dirt, but hadn’t yet touched a fielder. According to our rules, the runner scores.
Other team’s coach: “He’s gotta go back to 3rd!”
Me, across the field as the first base coach: “No, he doesn’t.”
Our 13-year old ump, unaware of the rule, sends our runner back to 3rd.
Other team’s coach: “The ball hit the dirt. Yes, he does!”
Me: “The ball has to hit a fielder in the infield, not the dirt. I can show you the rules.”
The ump says, sure ’show me the rule.’ Okay, I walk in to show the ump the rules. Didn’t ask the ump to change his call. But he did. Run scores.
Next inning, I’m standing out in the field with our team on defense, as an opposing runner going to third runs out of the basepath to avoid our player’s tag and a sure out. The ump calls the runner safe, due to interference by our shortstop who was just standing in the runner’s way, without the ball. I’m thinking, yeah he should be safe. Good call.
But then I hear this, from a “fan” on the opposing team’s rooting section:
2nd grade baseball heckler #1 (slouched in a lawn chair, with a fist propping up his chin, doing his best ‘Don’t you dare make me step up and volunteer to help my kid’s team’ pose): “Uh oh, better check the rules!”
It’s at this point I realize, perhaps the opposing team is holding some degree of youth sports hostility over the previous inning and my rules clarification for the ump.
I’ve never been heckled by a fan before in all the sports and seasons I’ve coached over the last four years. I’ve certainly ran into my share of idiots on the other benches. But I’m as even-keeled and fair as you can get, I think. I’m not a “pound the snot out of them” or “take no prisoners” kind of coach. It’s 2nd grade baseball for crying out loud.
Me, being the nice guy that I think I am, decide to try and smooth things over with the heckler.
Bad idea.
Me: “Are you saying that we shouldn’t look at the rules if the ump needs clarification?”
2nd grade baseball heckler #1 doesn’t respond, doesn’t want to man up to his poor sportsmanship, but at the same time two other voices near him pop up.
2nd grade baseball heckler #2: “It’s 2nd grade baseball. Drop it!”
2nd grade baseball heckler #3: “C’mon. They’re eight years old!”
Huh? Drop it? Who started “it”? How come 2nd grade baseball heckler #1 went quiet?
As I stifled an incredulous laugh, I started to try and say something calmly and smart like, “You coach didn’t know the rule, so we looked it up,” but I only got three calm words out and was drowned out by 2nd grade baseball heckler #2, who said, again:
“Just drop it!”
Interesting. Your guy starts “it.” And I have to drop “it”?
So, I did. Still baffled to apparently be thought of as a coach who was out there to win at all costs, and get every run across the plate, just because I boldly dared to show the ump and the opposing coaches the rules that all teams in the tournament are supposed to be playing under.
How dare I place any trust or integrity in fairness to both teams, for the rules of the game.
As I write this a day later, I feel bad that those other parents formed an instant opinion of me. They’re assuming I’m a win-win-win coach because what I did went against their team. Even though my intentions truly were to make sure both teams played by the rules. It’s one thing if they would have tried to have a conversation about it, instead of heckling me and telling me to “Drop it”, denying any chance for a civil discussion.
Frankly, it pissed me off!
If you’re in the lawn chair, instead of engaging in poor sportsmanship to make yourself feel better, keep quiet or talk to me after the game in a civil discussion.
When I’ve run up against some truly shady coaches in a tournament setting, who play their best kid at first base five innings in a row and think I won’t notice, I just bite my tongue. (Our league only allows a kid to play the same position twice in the same game.) My feeling has always been, if that’s what you have to do to win this game and make yourself feel better, go for it.
I promised a social media tie-in, so here it goes.
The rules in social media are not always clear. So, seek clarification and don’t expect everyone to like it when you do something “your way.” If you’re got reasons for doing something, state them. And hope for a civil discussion from those who disagree.
- If you’re a corporate blogger, don’t think you can get away with not allowing comments to your blog. Where’s the conversation? Expect to be blasted for that.
- If you go into a Facebook or MySpace group as a business, be genuine. Tell the members why you’re there. Establish some trust through your sincerity.
- Don’t be afraid to fail at something. Not everything you or your company tries in social media will work. Don’t be afraid of getting canned if it doesn’t work out. Yes, many companies and corporations can still agonize over every word posted in their blog but if you don’t use the tools, you may as well leave the toolbox on the workbench and keep drawing up and looking over the building plans.
My son’s – and his teammates – 2nd grade baseball experience over the last three months didn’t depend on how many tournament games we won this weekend. As it turned out, we did win the game in question, by several runs. We played one more game a few hours later and lost, ending our season.
Rules are rules. Deal with that.
